My debut novel "To Pine for Pink Opals" is on KindleVella!
You can message me on the website and I can send you a pdf of the novel to read if you don't use apps like these!
It took me a while for me to write this blog post.
Because I was wrestling with a lot of conflicting feelings about how to feel about this accomplishment.
First, I felt crestfallen.
I put so much of my energy and myself into this creation, and I had zero guarantee that anyone outside of those who know me personally would read it. In fact, I am not sure if anyone has even read the whole thing besides my editor Chloe (who is an an absolute GEM).
This was a lonely realization.
I wrote this novel with an idea of what success looked like in my mind.
I wanted anonymous people to read it. I wanted people to say tell me what they thought about it. I wanted all these things that I could us to measure just how close I got to my goal of 'success'.
I had no deigns of greatness, of it being a 'best seller' or making me buckets of 'big kid money', but when I screamed as loud as I could, I did want to hear an echo.
I sought so much external validation that I when I didn't it, or the validation I yearned for, I spun out.
Just a semblance of control
Which is cringey, but who doesn't do cringe shit from time to time?
Unknowingly, I placed too much importance on how many people may have read it, or views some post got, or whatever 'metric' I didn't hit for success. I didn't remember why I was so excited to write in the first place.
I forgot what mattered most.
Writing a novel I was proud of was what mattered most.
Now, I feel accomplished.
I created characters that are fun and believable. I built a setting that is enthralling and diverse. I wrote a plot that has meaning and suspense.
I finally achieved a goal I never thought I'd be able to: write a novel and get it published. It's not perfect, and I'm sure I'll look back on some parts and wonder 'what was i thinking?' or 'this was a missed opportunity to....' but I don't care.
I created something that isn't easy to do, and I'm gonna gas myself up!
Feelin Myself like Sailor Mars
And you know what?
Ive already planned my next novel!
In addition to studying Mandarin Chinese, applying for jobs like a woman on fire, trying to figure out which country I'm going to live in next, and leading writing workshops, I'm also writing a new novel.
And it's gonna be epic.
I'll tease my next novel soon, but it's gonna be a paranormal romance this time, and don't worry it's still going to be LGBTQIA friendly :)
Thanks for everyone's support through my meandering, off-path writing process and life.
I've loved it all, I love yall, and I'm gonna persist.
Until again, I'm embracing the Paper Hurricane